Why I Hate Christians

I say this as a Christian, but I hate other Christians*.  We are as a whole, divided, angry, hateful, mistrustful, dispassionate, rule-focused, backward, culturally inept, fearful, hypocritical, and self-centered.  We are called to be more than that.  This comes from a place of brokenness, this comes from a place of anger and despair.  Because I see so many of my brothers and sisters in Christ not being Christ-like in their actions.  And like a good Christian, I am not going to call anyone out publicly like this (though literally, no one reads this unless I beg and plead,).

I’m generally a passive man.  People who know me know that I would rather appease everyone and not make enemies with everyone.  People who know me also know that I am incredibly stubborn and passionate and faithful.  I have done a lot of growing in these past few months (let’s be honest, it’s really since last year when I actually opened my eyes for once, but that’s another story,) and it’s given me some new insight.

I’m going to lay out my thoughts on a few things.

1 - We are fearful.  We are called by Christians to be fearful of God.  To be struck with wonder and fear from his awesome power.  I agree.  I don’t agree when our fear has coalesced into inaction.  Deliberation first is fine, but deliberation without action is what kills people.  I’m all about praying about what to do next.  I’m all about listening to the Holy Spirit to tell us what to do (this is the collective us, not specific people, remember).  But there comes a time for action.  For the first time in a long time, I feel like I know where God is telling me to go.  And not in the far-future kind of stuff, but the right-now-right-here kind of stuff.  And that is both exciting and frightening at the same time.  So when I am called to go, I will follow.  It’s the only logical explanation for myself.  While my passions lie in the creative sphere, I think rather logically.  God knows this, and He is working in me so that I can understand His presence and knowledge and will.

That said, I am discouraged when we are called to be champions of the faith and warriors, to be lambs among lions, to be defenseless among the ways of this world; I am discouraged when we are called to do so, and we subsequently don’t act upon that.  Fear causes inaction.  I’ve seen it in myself all too often.  I’m afraid for the future, so I try not to stay too far away from the comfortable and familiar.  I am afraid of driving (like, deathly, unhealthy fear of driving.  There’s a reason I take medication to help combat this,) but I can’t let that stop me from becoming whom I was meant to be anymore.  (Side note: I’m totally going to have a self-driving car when it becomes affordable, cause I hate driving that much.  Or use like Uber or Lyft, cause holy heck I hate driving even with the meds in me.)  I am afraid of commitments to other people.  I feel like I can’t half-heartedly make commitments to those I love, that I have to be available to them and for them all the hours of the day.  I am afraid that what I am doing is all wrong, and at the end of my life, I will be told that this was all a big mistake.

I choose faith over fear.  I choose to step out over the abyss and take that leap of faith.  God has provided for me in the past.  When I failed to follow His commands because of my fear, he has shown me time and time again that He would have taken care of me during that time.  So I choose to have faith over fear.  I choose to believe that God will be there to pick me up if I stumble and fall.  I choose to believe that I will walk out on water.  So when I see so many people around me crippled by fear not to take that leap of faith, or to continue to sit in that boat for a sign, I am so disheartened.

2 - We are wary.  I think this is different from fear.  Fear is caution to things that can scare us.  Being wary is caution to things that have scared us.  We use wariness and wisdom to protect ourselves from being burnt again.  And I understand.  Christians have a history of being persecuted for their faith.  Christians have a history of persecuting others for their faith.  As modern Christians, we are called to be counter-cultural and to be outside of this world while being inside of it.  We are called to reach others and make friends and be that light in the darkness.  But when we are hurt in the process, we tighten up and we don’t easily forgive.  The saying goes: “Forgive, but not forget”.  We forgive others of their sins against us, but we are still blocked from them because of past hurts.

And that is perfectly understandable.  It’s human nature to be wary.  If I reach out and pet a dog and it bites me, I am far less likely to pet the same dog again.  If I reach out to someone and I am shunned for it, I am less likely to reach out in similar circumstances or the same person again.  This wariness is so that we can, as humans, protect ourselves from being hurt again.  While we are very resilient, we are also delicately fragile.  So when we are called to reach back to pet the same dog which bit us before, it becomes hard to do.

Well, Jesus forgave us for our own sins and trespasses.  I mean, He died on a cross for us, and is constantly reaching out to have a personal relationship with us despite what we do on our end.  And He is doing that for each and every single person in the world.  That kind of rejection could quite literally kill a man.  But He does it anyway.  If we, as Christians, are called to love others like He loves us, then we need to reach back to the dark deep and be vulnerable.

Vulnerability and Forgiveness are what combats wariness.  We need forgiveness in ourselves so that we can forgive others (even if they themselves didn’t do the hurt to us ie: similar situations or they are related but not the product of the hurt,).  We need vulnerability so that we can present ourselves to the world (and often those who hate us) so that we can be better ambassadors of Christ.  I have seen too many people wary of things in the past.  I’m not discrediting their wariness, it is well earned and well warranted.  But I am discrediting the unwillingness for vulnerability and forgiveness during this time.

Being a Christian is hard.  Hell, being a human is hard.  If we wanted to make sure we weren’t hurt by anyone, we would all be hermits.  However, human beings are social creatures, and Christians are told to be together in worship and praise and prayer.  If we are to be Christians, or humans for that matter, we need a little bit of forgiveness and vulnerability.

3 - Unqualified.  I will be the first person to admit that I am not qualified for anything that I am right now.  I am a poor leader.  I am a poor Elder.  I am a poor friend and follower of Christ.  I am a poor man (both in aspects of financial and “how-good-I-am”).  I am utterly and completely unqualified.  And that’s perfectly fine.  No one is qualified for the jobs they have.  At least, not at first.  College Professors get to where they are by years and years honing their craft.  Athletes spend countless hours practicing so that they can dribble or shoot or throw correctly.  Christians spend a whole lifetime to be better at being Christians.  Just like it is with being a human being, or a student, or a doctor, or a leader, or a follower, or whatever.

Whenever we start something new, we suck at it.  Like, we are horrible at it.  Some people are prodigies and are good at what they do from the get-go.  But even they need to practice and even they need to hone their skills.  No one is perfect from the get-go.  “Practice makes perfect.”  WRONG!  “Practice makes better.”  I come from a small church, where I am unqualified for any of the jobs that I was or am in.  And I know I am not the only one.  No one is qualified for their job in the get-go.  That’s why there are apprenticeships, internships, job shadowing, trial periods, etc etc etc.  It is in this unqualification, however, that we are qualified as Christians.

God makes us qualified.  He chooses those who are the underdogs or those who are unworthy of the tasks set before them so that ultimately God can shine.  That’s kind of cool, in my opinion.  If you aren’t a Christian, then maybe it’s the equivalent of being chosen for a project for the company, and ultimately the company succeeds because of that.  I don’t know.  Remember, I’m not qualified about this stuff.

The issue that I have with this is that we are easily led astray.  We don’t know what we are doing.  We look at others and their opportunities and we want to follow or catch up to them.  We want to be like others.  We want success and fame and money and all that jazz.  So, we sometimes take opportunities not meant for ourselves, and we try to do things under our own power.  And that leaves us in pain and suffering as we are horribly under-qualified for a job that we weren’t even meant to take on at this time.

Wisdom beats this.  Wisdom in what God is calling us to do, or in what He is calling us not to do.  We only know what God is calling us to do if we spend time with Him (a reasonable amount of time.  If he be sending boats out to you and we aren’t responding it’s because we aren’t really listening**).

So when I see people who aren’t gifted or called to be in certain roles be in those certain roles it hurts.  Your gifts and qualifications that God wants for you aren’t there.  Yes, you might be doing the world so many good things and good deeds.  But maybe, maybe if you were to take on a different task you could do so much more good.  And that only comes with wisdom.  And if wisdom is something that you really need to work on, then having a good support group of friends who love you and care for you giving you solid advice makes things clearer.  Or, you know, pray to God.

4 - Our allegiances aren’t Christ-centered.  I see this all too often.  We claim to be Christians and then also say that we are Republican, Democrat, progressive or conservative, pro/anti life, pro/anti gun, pro/anti drug, American, Rochestarian, a New Yorker … honestly, people like to label things.  It’s how we discern things for ourselves.  And that’s fine as all as you know where your loyalties lie.

Do you loyalties lie with Christ?  With food? With your significant other?  With your friends?  With drugs?  With debt?  With money?  With fame?  With your job?  With pain?

That’s just scratching the surface.  If you call yourself a Christian, and you don’t have Christ the center of your life, then you are doing a poor job in being a Christian.  If you value your country or political agenda over Christ, then you are doing it wrong as a Christian.  If you blindly follow what other people of the same belief is doing, without thinking things through yourself, then you are doing it wrong.

(If you not a Christian, then place yourself in a different group or label that you believe in whole-heartedly.)

God gave us brains and free will for a reason.  If you want to follow something, then follow it.  It is alright to change your mind and decide that you no longer support something after years of supporting it.  It is alright to admit mistakes or to change your viewpoint.  It is not okay to continue to be hypocritical.

Stop being so hypocritical.  We are called for so much more.  Be genuine with one another.  Tell people that you love them.  Listen to the other side.  Listen.  Tell people that they are valid despite what others say about them.  Christians, what would Christ want you to do?  Would He want you to slander or hate or serve idols?  Would He want you to love any and all despite every difference they have from us?

Be genuine and love each other.  Recenter your allegiance on what you believe in, and follow it.  Be decent to each other.  Love one another despite the hate you receive.  Love those who disagree because it is only together that we can have a conversation about the topic.

Don’t be in an echo-chamber of your own self-worth.

Ultimately what irks me about Christians is that we are human and thus fail-able.  If things were perfect we wouldn’t be here on Earth, we’d be somewhere else.  I am fail-able.  I have failed time and time again.  I know my own past actions can be used against me with my short-comings or my own inactions.  That’s fine.  If people want to judge me on what they think I am, or the actions of who I was, then that is their choice.  I am ultimately not here to please you or anyone else.

All I want to do is to be a good person, be a good Christian, be a good man, be a good friend, be a good whatever.  If you think that involves Christianity or anything like that, that’s on you.  I’m me, regardless of religion or labels or mistakes I have made.

That’s why I hate Christians, we don’t know how to be decent people.

So please, talk to me if what I am saying doesn’t make sense, or if it is making sense.  Talk to me if you agree or disagree.  This has been on my heart this season of life, and I would love for you to be a part of it.

*Christians as a whole can suck an egg.  Individual Christians can be awesome in what they do and in their representation of Christ.  I’m just talking about Christians as a whole, particularly the American Christianity that I am exposed to, not just at my church, but in my hometown, in the media, etc etc etc.

**A man is sitting on top of his flooded house, and he prays to God for help.  A boat comes by, but the man doesn’t take the boat and continues to pray for help.  A second boat comes by and the man still doesn’t take the boat.  Finally, a helicopter comes by to save the man, but the man still prays to God for help.  The man dies, and he confronts God about it.  God sent two boats and a helicopter for the man.  Moral of the story is that God is speaking and responding to us, just not in ways we normally suspect.  We gotta get better at the whole discernment thing in response.