Controversial Opinion:
If you want me to care about what you say to me, then try to make an effort to be a part of my life and not just come out of the woodwork the moment I say something you disagree with.
That's a harsh thing to say, but it's true. Why should I care about what people say, when they have had every opportunity to get in touch with me and they haven’t until the moment I say something they view as wrong? I’m not blaming them; we are all busy people with busy lives. But when this is the first thing you say to me all year? For the first time in years?
It's really telling of character.
Because, I have to ask, where were you when I brought up other difficult topics and stances? Where were you when I spilled my guts and told the world my emotions? Where are the happy birthdays, the congratulations, the well wishes, the texts saying that you are praying for me, the how are yous, the let's get coffees, etc?
My phone number hasn’t changed. My email hasn’t changed. My address hasn’t changed. My DMs are open on both FB and Insta. Hell, if there was a way for me to get telegrams or smoke signals I’d accept those too.
My point is there are a plethora of ways to contact me, and there has been a distinct lack of communication.
Now you could also ask, "Hey Zack, where's my texts and calls and emails and etc etc etc ... A relationship is a two-way street."
And you’re right. I don’t text or call or email or etc etc etc. Part of that is because I only keep in contact with people that are in my immediate circle. At least in the real world. (Keeping in touch with my internet friends is a hella lot easier, but the very concepts of real-world friends and internet friends is a whole separate conversation for another time.)
Now, I have tried to keep in contact with people beyond my immediate circle. But when I am the only one initiating conversations it makes me think that the other person or persons don’t want to get in touch with me and don’t care. Which is only partly true at best; once again we are all busy with busy lives and answering texts, (or calls, emails, letters, etc etc etc) from people can be draining. But when it’s time and time again that I am ignored or forgotten it’s telling. So I stopped. Why put effort into getting in touch with people when they won't do the same in return?
Hence why I don’t talk to people outside my circle, because I’ve been burned too many times.
Now that doesn’t mean that I’m not open to people wanting to be a part of my life or spending time with me. I do in fact look for friendships and relationships with people. It’s that I found that I can’t be the one to start that conversation. See paragraphs above.
And I’m not expecting to hang out all the time or to have constant communication every day. Once again, we are all busy people. But it does mean trying to make an effort to get together, even if shooting texts back and forth to schedule a date we can catch up irl (which never happens cause schedules are a right pain in the neck at the best of times. but it does show that you are at least trying to be a part of my life, which is a lot more than most people are).
It shows me that you care about me and want to be a part of my life. Which means a hella lot more to me than ignoring my posts and stories and poems (and just generally my life and my existence when you get down to it) and then coming out from nowhere to act all sad that I am not the person you thought I was.
It makes me feel like you are treating me like a problem and not a person, and that's a shitty feeling.
Rant over.
Best books that I’ve read in 2021 soon I promise, not that anyone cares but me I guess. On a retreat for the next few days to get some writing done so I’m staying off of social media while I’m away.
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