Obsession

Obsession

I want to quick talk about some obsessions.  Uh, specifically the negative ones since the connotations of the word “Obsession” tends to be unhealthy and wracked with negativity.  For example, I was cleaning off the corner of my couch which houses the clean clothes I am unwilling to put away properly because I am a lazy, lazy boy.  In my doing so I came across a variety of hoodies.  Now, if you know me you know that during the colder months of the year I wear hoodies and jeans or khaki’s to one extent or another.

I realize now that I have no less than twelve hoodies.  Uh, that’s an unhealthy obsession right there.  I also have a collection of wigs/hats, a pile of walking sticks, various Disney/Pixar movies, most of the Ghibli movies, books upon books upon books, notebooks which have yet to be written in, and perhaps too many craft supplies I “one-day” will get to.

Unhealthy Obsessions.

Oh, and tea, like a box and a half of tea.  Are you picking up what I am putting down?  I have a lot of these unhealthy obsessions.  Each one I can justify in my head, even though I know that rationally that if I lost all of those right now it wouldn’t be the end of the world.  Well, it might not be the end of the world but my materialistic heart of mine would implode.

“A dreamer, nothing more, nothing less.”

That’s the tag at the top of the page.  One of my flaws as a person is that I am unhealthily obsessed with things and doing things with those things.  But there’s always too much going on in my life, (or so I say, I bet other people would laugh at my schedule and what I do, but I digress,) and I have to put them off to the side.  And this extends beyond the physical things in life.  This also extends to my stories and my words.

As I stated before I have waay too many stories in my head and upon the page for me to pick one and do it.  I have far too many ideas and stories that I wish to do and complete.  That One-Shot from the other day?  I kinda want to make that into a full-fledged thing.  I had an idea for a stupid rom-com the other day.  That doesn’t include the two other stories upon here, the other stories I write for myself, The Carlotta Chronicles, the small ideas floating in my head, the poems or the snippets of ideas, the half-baked ideas left unfinished, or the crazy ideas of my rewriting older works of mine to redo them and make them “better.”

See my problems?  Discernment in this case hasn’t been my strong suit.  Because regardless of whether or not I want to finish the story there is someone out there reading it who wants me to finish it.  Whether that be because they want me to succeed or they are unhealthily obsessed with my characters as I am with them.  Another flaw of mine is generosity, and wanting to make others happy.  Not in money in this case, but time and effort.  If my works make people happy, then I am inclined to work on them, even as I am inclined to spend my time not working on them to make them happy in some other way.

Flaws, I guess.  It’s part of what makes me, me; and without that I wouldn’t be Zack.  If it wasn’t for those “weaknesses” of mine, then I wouldn’t be whom I am.