Colors: Red

It was a few days later and I found myself standing at the edge of a parking lot listening to the cars pass by.  Crystal had promised to meet me here the previous day when she had stopped by the library.  With today being my day off, and my curiosity getting the better of me, I agreed to a meeting to discuss the next color.

Seagulls flew above me, cawing every so often.  I could smell the sea from here.  This lot was on the edge of town, yes, but this lot was also more inland than my usual haunts.  The ocean was far enough away that I couldn’t hear it quite well.  The smell however was still deep in my nostrils.  I could almost feel the steady drumming of the waves as they broke against the shore.

Exhaust fumes occasionally came to me as the cars passed.  Their engines vroomed past leaving behind a fresh wind of exhaust and sea air.  Most of them had their windows down despite the late evening chill.  I could tell because of the news reports or indie rock filtering through the air to me.  I could only catch snippets of each song.  It was like I was turning the radio dial trying to find my favorite station, but I was quite unsure which station it was.  Instead of static I had seagulls and engines.

I turned about, listening around me.  Crystal was late.  And maybe by turning around I could hear her as she came up.  I can only imagine that someone who could see would do the same, turning and twisting to see if their friend or their lover was coming.

Someone was coming. I cocked my head to the side to listen.  It came from deeper inland.  Their steps were heavy, quick, and strangely familiar.  I sniffed, and smelled nothing more than exhaust and salt and something sadly familiar.  For the life of me, I couldn’t place what the recognition was.  It wasn’t Crystal; I’m pretty sure I had her pegged already when it came to her rhythm.

That familiarity that had been on the tip of my tongue came to me when I was barreled into by a large, stocky dog.  I wavered, then fell onto my back.  The dog went to my face instantly.  It licked my cheeks and my nose and my lips.  I laughed, sputtering out a muffled pattern of breaths like the rat-a-tat of a snare drum.

“You alright?”

His voice was strong, confident.  A hand reached down and grasped mine.  It was calloused and thick around the knuckles.

“I’m fine.”

“Good.”

He hauled me up and I left the ground for the briefest of moments.  I landed on my feet and steadied myself with my cane.

“Ol’ Jeb doesn’ watch where he goes an’more.  He jus’ likes to run abou’.”

“That’s fine.  Dogs are dogs, they do things like that.”

The dog, assuming it was Ol’ Jeb, nestled up against my hip.  I reached down and scratched at the dog’s head.  I could hear him pant and lean in further into my hand.

“You ever though’ abou’ gettin’ a dog you’self?”

I could feel him staring at my sunglasses that were still miraculously on my nose.  His song reminded me of the old main street in town.  It hadn’t been cut into the earth like every other, instead it wound up and down and around the natural curves Mother Nature had given us.

His song was roving and wandering.  It dropped unexpectedly at first, but with further listening I could tell exactly when the song would drop a beat.  It reminded me very much like a car trying very hard to go fast, but it constantly hit the brake as it came up upon pedestrians.

“I had one once.  She died not long ago.”

Her name had been Emmi.  She had been so happy and bouncy and lively when she had been alive.  She had also be a huge help, and I had learning much on how to live on my own because of her.  There was a dependency, yes, but it wasn’t as painful as before.  I could be alone and be fine with it.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”  I smiled.

The man clasped my hand.  His grip was strong.  “I’ll be seein’ ya a’ound, mate.”

“I won’t be.”  I smirked, and the man laughed.  It went with his song well, loud and quick and wavered between high and low.  Ol’ Jeb rubbed his head against my hand once more, and I gave it a quick ruffle with my fingers.

I composed myself once more, listening to his fading footsteps.  Ol’ Jeb was leading the way, his legs working quickly to make a patter-patter against the concrete.  I listened further and could hear nothing new.  I was still all alone.

If Emmi had been here she would be standing by my side.  The veterinarian had called her huge for her breed.  Emmi’s shoulder came to my waist.  I would rest my hands on her head and scratch gently.  Emmi had been a good guide dog, if a bit boisterous.  She was a lot like Crystal, I guessed.

I tried to imagine how Emmi would look yellow.  I know colors are associated with certain emotions, Crystal was attempting to teach me this very thing, but it was hard to think that Emmi could be the same color of yellow as Crystal.  Shouldn’t each and every thing have its own, individual yellow?

“Sorry I’m late!”

I jumped in place, turning towards her.  “Don’t sneak up on me like that!”

She giggled, “I didn’t sneak.  You just weren’t paying attention.”

I sighed.  I could taste the vanilla and strawberry on my tongue.  I breathed in and could smell her more sharply than I had before.  She had come from inland.  The smell of something that wasn’t quite sea air hung around her.

“So where were you?”

“I had an appointment inland.”  A pause.  “I couldn’t cancel it.”

Amid the earthy tones coming from her, I detected something else.  She was lying to me.  No, she was bending the truth.  There was something she didn’t want to tell me, and I couldn’t tell what that something was.

“That’s fine,” I smiled.  “Things come up.”

There was a rummaging of metal on metal, then the sound of something dangling in her hands.  “Come on,” she started walking away.

A car went by behind me.  She was heading to the parking lot?

“Where are we going?”

“It’s late, too late to do what I wanted.”  She said. Her footsteps came hard against the asphalt.  Even now, even coming from inland, she wore those heavy sounding boots.  “I’ll take you home.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I feel bad that I dragged you out here for nothing.”  She stopped moving and I heard the jingling of keys.  “I’ll take you home and we can reschedule.”

“If you insist,” I said, following her slowly.

I stopped, tapping out with my cane.  I hit something hard and metallic.  I reached around, feeling for the handle.  I found it and tested it.  The door opened and I clambered in.

Inside the cramped interior I could smell the bitter smell of coffee and the artificial tang of some citrusy fruit.  Orange, grapefruit perhaps?  Something tropical.  Perhaps one of those little car fresheners.

I fumbled about for the seatbelt.

“Sorry it’s not clean.  I’ve been moving.”  She said.

“Couldn’t tell.”  I said.  Yes, there were some wrappers and at least two empty cups at my feet, but there was nothing else on the ground or on my seat.  “Ready for the address?”

“Hold a sec.”  The car rumbled to life, and I could feel myself literally vibrate about as the machine started up.  “Where is it?”

“25 Jefferson.  It’ll be the one with the red door.”

“Red?  I thought you didn’t know color.”

“I don’t.  It’s what the landlord told me.”  I lowered my voice, changing my own song to match his.  “You might be the only bloke in town to buy that piece of shit apartment.  Ain’t no one in town going to buy the place with such a red, vibrant door.  If it weren’t for the city ordinances, then I’d have repainted that eyesore a proper color for a door.”

“That’s a pretty good impression.  Do you do stand up?”

“I’m only good with voices.  And no, I don’t do stand up.”

“You should.  I know a guy who knows a guy and I think you’d do a good job,”

“So you say.”

“I do say, I think you’d be great at it.”

“Sure.”

“Soo, you wanna know why red doors were so important?”

“What?”

“Why the door is red and not some other color.”

“Uh, not really.  It doesn’t matter why it’s red.”

“But red is such a bright, and vivid color!”

“Your point being?”

“Red is such a passionate color.  It can show caution or danger, but at the same time it can mean something beautiful.”

“And your point is?”

“I’ll show you when we get to your place.”

I could feel the car begin to move faster, and she took the corner.  I could feel the car lift slightly as I was tilted in my seat.  I reached up for the handle attached to the ceiling, but there was nothing there for me to grab onto.

“Shit.”

She whispered it under her breath.  I braced myself as well as I could.  My cane ricocheted between my knees.  We whipped about another corner.  And I could hear another small curse from her.  or maybe she didn’t.  It was hard to tell whether or not it was her song I heard.  The rumbling of the car and the squeaking of the tires and my own chattering teeth made things a bit hard for me to concentrate.

She must have hit the brakes hard, because I flew forward in my seat.  The seatbelt caught my chest and I stopped.  I panted slightly, fumbling for my seatbelt and the door.

“Are you crazy?”

“I’m a little crazy, yes.”

I heard her door open and close.  I found the handle for the door, and exited the car.  I tapped about and found the sidewalk a good three paces away.  I tried to orient myself.

“Remind me to never get in the car with you.”

“Hurry up!”

I turned in the direction of her voice.  I walked a bit to my left, and my cane tapped against the trunk of a small tree.  There was a tree before my apartment door.  It was about ten and a half paces to the four steps to my red door.

I took the steps, found the steps, and took them one at a time.  I stopped at the third step.  Crystal was in front of me.  She took my hand, placing it on the door.  The wood was weatherworn and rough against my palm.

“This is red.”

“So it’s cautionary?  Watch out, a blind man lives here?”

“No, think of it more as alive.  It designates passion and life and love.”

I felt her hand over mine, pressing it firmly against the door.

I tried to envision red.  “I’m finding a hard time thinking that’s red.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll get there.”

“So you say.”

“The next color will be a bit easier.”

“Next color?”

“Yeah, when are you free next?”